It can be hard at the best of times to stay connected to those around us in the busy lives we lead, so for those of us already struggling and feeling isolated, it is even more imperative that we find ways to stay connected to each other. For me, quality time and activities together have always been really important aspects of friendship. I need to feel connected to people who show up for me, like literally put in the hours and face time. So social distancing is going to be challenging to endure.
Not only do I like my friends to show up for me, I like to show up for them too. So, for example, when 2 friends and my own son’s birthday plans had to be cancelled in late march, I really felt sad and disconnected and like I had let my people down. It left me unable to visit, nowhere to suggest as an alternative catch up and no means to give my friends their gifts, which is one of the ways I show love.
I know this too shall pass, and when it does, we will celebrate the freedoms to socialise. We can celebrate all the missed events, our good health and pay our respects, and offer our warm condolences to family and friends of those who didn’t survive the virus. We can and will rebuild after we reassess what was worth rebuilding and make way for new things we discover on this journey off the beaten track. However, we don’t yet know when that will be. And until then, it is going to be harder to feel connected, to show up and to feel people are showing up for you.
Friendship isn’t a top priority for most of us at the best of times, so it is understandable that right now the world and the individuals in it appear to have more pressing matters on their mind. That said, we are all feeling the stress, anxiety, worry and personal implications. People are losing jobs, incomes, homes, lives, holidays and routines. And we need to come together, while staying apart, to get through this.
I personally have never been so interested in the news and talked so much politics with my friends. We have reached out to talk about our fears, stresses, and anxieties and share the latest things we have been reading and seeing in the world around us. We are reaching out every few days, if not daily and showing people more connectedness (there I go making up words again?!) than we otherwise would. We are doing our best to comfort and support each other as much as we are seeking that same connection and support! A few of my friendships that were starting to feel a little bit stale have been refreshed as we remember that we need each other.
Added to that as many parts of the country, and the world start systematically shutting down, we are finally finding we actually do have more time to remember to reach out to our friends. To reconnect and reassess why we didn’t make time to do so before? There are so many ways to keep in touch when you are apart. From snail mail, to emails, to phone calls, to instant messages and video calls. We all know HOW to stay in touch, and hopefully we will still make even more effort to be there when we cannot be there.
But the thing I have found most comforting has been an unofficial thing I have been doing with some friends where we send each other something every day that made us smile. The funniest misunderstood song lyrics clip, or a funny meme, or a picture of our kid or our pet. An inspirational message or a one liner about social distance.
This is an unprecedented situation that threatens to tear us apart. But we cannot let that happen. United we must stand, through the good, the bad and the ugly. We must learn from each other, encourage and support each other and try to bring as much positivity to each other as we can. Sometimes that means listening and validating someone’s fears and struggles, and sometimes it means letting someone know you’re thinking of them.
Letting your front line friends know that you are grateful for the work they are doing, but making sure they are coping ok. Letting your friend who lost their job know that you will be there to help them rebuild on the other side. Letting your parents know you miss them and haven’t forgotten about them. And sometimes it means providing a distraction by talking about irrelevant things, uplifting things or silly things.
All the politicians are concerned about the economy, warranted or not, so that leaves it up to us to be concerned for each other.
Keep smiling and keep your people smiling as much as you can. Stay strong, and as much as you can, stay connected. And make a promise to yourself to stay just as connected when this is all over!
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
