I have posted friendship resolutions in the past, making new friendships, reaching out to reconcile with old ones and even making a new you for new year. This year, I want you all to have a close look at your current friendships and which ones you could possibly deepen to a new level.
I say this because many of the beautiful connections I have shared with friends appear to have happened quite some time after we became friends. I am sure it is perfectly normal for friendships to take time to grow, as the timing is right, but I can’t help but wonder if they wouldn’t have developed at all had we both not been open to levelling up!
One friend, for example, I had known for around 10 years before we became close. And now that we are closer, I reflect back on the potential I missed all those years ago to take this friendship to the next level, and the benefits to having had this closeness in my life all along. That didn’t happen, mostly because I suppose I wasn’t open to it. I didn’t embrace it and give it mindful attention, time and nurturing. Yet as soon as I did, it was almost like this person had been waiting for me to be ready the whole time.
Most grow if you are mindful about watering them!
So I want to ask you to really examine your friendships and acquaintances and consider taking each of them to a newer deeper level. Not all will flourish, as both parties really have to be ready for the change, however the ones that do grow into something deeper might change your life in really unexpected ways.
So maybe there is a group of people you see, as a group. Perhaps you could ask a few of them individually to meet up in a different context one on one? Or, for example, ask one of your children’s friend’s mothers for a play date at yours, saying you will provide coffee and cake to chat over while the kids play. It might mean opening up a little more to someone you usually only discuss gardening with and seeing what else you might have in common, or offering to help someone you don’t know too well just because you can and you like them.
It doesn’t mean every person you talk to has to know your whole life story or that every person needs to be a best friend, just that each friend has an opportunity to advance past their current level on your friend ladder. You might be surprised at who is there for you more than you expected!
Friendships ebb and flow, so it’s likely you had a friend with whom you used to be closer, however now feel less close. Is there any way you could be more mindful about restoring that connection, not to what it once was, but further than it currently is?
I suppose what I am suggesting is to make more time to purposefully reach out to those around you and build connections. Prioritise your social connections, as they really matter. In the last few years, my parents have moved into a retirement village. Initially I was concerned for them, separation from old friends, changes to routine, less space and certainly less privacy. However it has been magical to watch their social worlds bloom, their calendar filled with all sorts of new people, new events and new connections.
So this advice is applicable to all people of all ages and stages, just to notice who is around you, to do something nice to foster your bond, to show interest, make invitations, deepen conversations and really be there for one another.
As the world starts opening up again, let’s all start to open our hearts and minds more along side it. Embrace the people in your life, because as my parents have demonstrated, at the end of the day, the people are what makes life fun and interesting. Work will end, children will grow up and take on lives of their own, and soon all you will have left is each other. So make it count this year, and every year thereafter!
Happy New Years Folks, however you are spending it, I hope it is with your friends!!!
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
