1. Work
Now we are getting into a situation where you may have nothing more in common on the surface than the fact that you each work for the same boss. That said, sometimes we spend so much time at work that we end up knowing these people just as well, if not better than our actual friends and family. The problem occurs because we spend so much time with these people already that we don’t think it is necessary to expand then beyond that capacity. Why would you want to see people you work with when it is family time and you see those people more than your family? Because you won’t always work together most likely, so if you like them, you must get used to seeing them outside of the office. You’d be surprised how much you might learn about them that just wasn’t obvious in the work setting.
2. Voluntary work
If you don’t have children or much of a social schedule, maybe animals are more your thing? Fantastic, why not contact your local shelter and see if they need any assistance? Most charities thrive and rely on the work of volunteers with passion, commitment and dedication to the cause. As a pleasant side effect, you will be working alongside others with a shared passion, helping one another for a good cause. And it wont matter if you are shovelling poop or cuddling cats, conversation is likely to expand to your own animals, lifestyles and stories. Before you know it, the animals are not the only company you look forward to.
3. Class of interest
Maybe your passion is art more than animals. And maybe there is less available charities for art, where you get to express yourself creatively. In which case some sort of creative class might be better for you. Before you know it, the instructor is asking you to find a partner, and you may have to study or rehearse or practise together outside of the class. You share a laugh; you share a passion and what in your life lead to that or when you knew you had some passion or talent. You share what your creations represent, and you feel seen heard and understood. You feel connected, friend.
4. Hobby group
If your passion happens to be knitting or scrapbooking and you don’t need a class because you know perfectly well how to do it, a community group might be best for you. The benefits can be sharing supplies, or sharing opinions if it happens to be a writer’s group or a book club. You soon learn how the lady down the road takes her coffee, and how the man around the corner walks over to keep his knees strong after his operation. You share ideas or inspirations, or patterns or whatever it may be, and as you all enjoy your shared activity, what you enjoy just as much is sharing it with others. Maybe you bring cake this week for Joan’s birthday or invite them all to your own birthday celebrations. And just like that you have knitted a friendship as well as those baby booties.
5. Apps
You can’t quite be anything but what you are on the apps, or at least you shouldn’t be. That said, there are plenty of friendship finding apps these days for people of all ages and stages and backgrounds etc…. Just like dating you upload your picture and your interests and it shows you all the other people looking for friends. If you find someone you like you swipe right and if they swipe right on you too, then you will be able to chat to them privately rather than in a group setting like in a forum. This can make it easier at times to share more personal aspects of your life and connect with people on a more intimate and real level. You already know what each other looks like and have shared a few messages, then you can swap numbers and progress to phone calls, coffee etc… it is the new age version of pen pals I suppose.
6. Support group
If you happen to have been through a big life change or experience, or someone close to you has, it has the power to change your perceptions of the world. There is nothing quite like a shared experience like that to bring people together. These friendships can be the quiet silver lining of a shared cancer, or caring for a parent with dementia or experiencing an eating disorder. While the main aim of the groups is to get help for the situation you are in, much of the help comes from the support of kind strangers sharing the battle who become lifelong friends
7. At the salon/Bar
A friend asked me recently if my hair dresser was my friend. I didn’t quite know how to respond to the question. She was not my friend before she was my hairdresser and I still refer to her as that rather than as a friend. However, she is a friend on my social media and we do know almost everything there is to know about one another’s lives. It may be professionally frowned upon for us to associate outside of business, but I would be open to it in theory. If she weren’t much younger than me and in a different place in her life maybe I would suggest it. You certainly could! I bet you know lots about your hairdresser too? Seems to go with the business, being in everyone’s business! Haha I don’t hang out in bars much, but I hear it is a pretty similar vibe with locals and bar staff.
8. Cinema
On a few occasions at the cinema, I have been seated near someone who was visiting alone and struck up conversations with them. I have invited them to sit with us and whispered about the plot line. Before the film you learn what brought them to the cinema and what interested them about this film, and after you learn about where they are headed next and when they will be back. If it so happens you and your mother visit the same cinema every week on Thursday mornings for example, you could easily welcome that person to join you should you meet again, or offer to grab a coffee after the film to discuss the plot.
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
