Last week I posted 8 ends to make new friends. This week I wanted to make a specific one for parents knowing their needs are somewhat more specific at this stage of life. That doesn’t mean someone who isn’t a parent couldn’t benefit from some of these ideas, or that someone who is a parents couldn’t benefit from last week’s post. If you are looking for ideas to make new friends, please read and heed both!
Parents group
If your baby is still in the early stages, before they are walking or talking or interacting with other babies, then parents’ group might be the way to go. Most parents get invited to these groups and all you have to do is show up. It is usually hosted in a community centre near a health nurse and the first few sessions might be facilitated as you make your introductions. Then the onus is on you to start making plans to keep on catching up out with the sessions. It may seem awkward at first, but before you know it, these are the people you turn to first as they are often first-time parents and just as isolated as you might feel. Their babies are generally the same age and stage too, which gives room for discussion that will grow and change as the children do.
Play group
If you missed out on parents’ group for some reason or if the friendships fizzled instead of sizzled, and your kid is not quite in school yet, playgroup is a wonderful community activity to get the kids out of your hair and to mess up a different space than your home for a change. With the added benefit that there are other mums there too helping with the setting up and clearing away. Sometimes busy hands make conversations easier, and as you wash the morning tea dishes you might find yourself comparing notes on dishwashers, home life and so much more. Before you know it, you could be grabbing lunch together before nap time.
Your kids’ friends’ parents
If you happen to be a parent of school aged kids, let them do the footwork for you. It is inevitable that they will want to spend time with friends outside of school, and as a result of this, you will probably at least meet their friends’ parent. This can be a great starting point for a friendship! You already have one very important thing in common in your children, however if you wish to stay friends, regardless of your children potentially growing up and growing apart, I recommend you expand your friendship beyond the kids. Start small by sharing a coffee when you drop off and pick up, working towards playdates in the park where you and they chat while the kids play. During this time, you should explore other topics of interest you could connect on, and when enough rapport has built, try a get together without the kids.
Friend of a friend
Sometimes you know two people who don’t know each other, but you think they should. So you introduce them, right? Similarly, if you let your friends know you are in the market for some new friends, they may be able to suggest someone they know who they think you would get along with well. All you have to do is to be brave enough to ask or to have that initial conversation and the stay open to any avenues that open up from there. Initially you at least both have a friend in common which means you both have excellent taste. What else you have in common you could ask your original friend, or bite the bullet and ask the new person. A gathering involving your common friend need only happen once then you are off to a flying start already – if you are brave enough to go it alone!
Online groups or forums
If your part of the world is still locked down and ravaged by the global pandemic, perhaps leaving the house for social activity isn’t safe for you right now. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t still find others to talk to and connect with. Now that we live in a digital world, the internet is your oyster. There are endless parent groups, offering suggestions of venues, comparing products, or forums with concerned parents sharing their woes…… Even if it isn’t parenting groups you seek, however obscure your hobby or passion, there will be a group for it on the internet. Whether you seek a therapy-based support group or a toe fetishist group, you’ll find likeminded people out there willing and waiting to welcome you. And the best part is that often the chances of meeting these people in real life is slim, so you can be exactly who you are without fear…. Or maybe who you want to be instead…
Public transport or the dog park or the local shop
I remember when I was young and I worked at the local supermarket. I had a few regular customers. As we chatted every week while I scanned up their shopping, I got to know them. One of them asked me to dog sit their dogs while they were away and another invited me to his school ball. All I had to do was to be friendly and interested and make connections with people based on us consistently being in the same place at the same time, even if it was for different reasons. I hear so many stories these days of paying it forward, kindness of strangers in shops etc…. quickly repaid with a coffee could spark a friendship based on kindness and a shared love of the same cleaning wipes!
On a cruise or other holiday.
Ok, this is far-fetched right now, and not within everyone’s reach… But personally, I love cruising and when it was still possible to cruise before the pandemic, my husband and I made a few friends on cruises. You are both in the same place for the same time, and free of schedules meaning it is easier to socialise and share meals and drinks and leisure time with people than it would be in everyday situations. Make the most of the holiday spirit and bring home friendships as well as memories and mementos. Cruises are especially good for parents as they offer the kids club meaning you can actually socialise child free while the kids have a great time playing together in fun supervised activities!
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
