Next week, on the 13th February, is GALentines Day! If you don’t know what that is, click here. If you aren’t sure how to celebrate, try here, here or here for ideas.
However, this year I wanted to dedicate a post to a particularly bright, bubbly and beautiful yellow rose in my life! You know who you are! x
All my friends are so different from one another. Some are serious while others are light. Some are religious or political while others are spiritual or atheist. Some are negative, seeing the bad in the world and the worst in others. Some are realists. But as I sat on the couch of one of my dearest friends the other day and we chatted with her teenage daughter I noticed something.
Talking about an old family friend or acquaintance, (I can’t be sure which as I don’t know the person in question or their connection to my friend and her family,) my friends daughter exclaimed “was she the ranga?” For those of you who aren’t familiar with Australian slang, ranga refers to a person with red hair. It is often, although not always used in a derogatory way. I don’t think my friends daughter meant it to be derogatory, merely a shorthand way to recognize the person in question.
“Yes, my friend beamed, her smile wide and bright and genuine. She’s so beautiful.” The words ran off her tongue naturally and without hesitation or any hint of annoyance at the use of the word ranga. I contemplated how this particular friend, despite her struggles, of which she has more than her fair share, is always such a kind woman, generous of spirit. Of how easily she sees the good in others, and how openly and willingly she expresses it. And how much I love and admire this quality of hers.
She’s the first to correct me if I’m hard on myself, and would likely be the first to jump to my defense if anyone else was hard on me either. She loves to celebrate me, and our friendship and tell the story of how we met when the teenagers were mere tots. She openly expresses, frequently, how important I am to her and how much she values my place in her life. She’s intentional about our time together and always makes sure to fit me in. She’s affectionate, both physically and emotionally. She’s trusting and always making people feel good about themselves in small ways she probably isn’t even consciously aware of.
If she likes the shop assistant’s nails, she will not hesitate to dish out a compliment, or tell a stranger on the street that they look fabulous in that colour. She handles conflict with a calm easiness, and her assertiveness rarely comes across as arrogance. She’s elegant, classy and worldly, yet takes no hesitation in asking the homeless man outside the local supermarket what she can get for him, with a genuine warmth that makes him feel seen, heard and a worthy for the brief moment of their exchange.
It should come as no surprise that she loves colour and art and food, and all things that bring beauty into this world. Her clothes are loud and unapologetic, as she claims space in this world and encourages us all to do the same. In a massage, she will ask the therapist if the pressure is ok for them. She will offer her car to the friend without one, or to drive the neighbour to a doctors appointment.
My friend isn’t perfect, nobody is, and we have had our issues over the course of our friendship, but she isn’t afraid to apologise or to try to deepen her understanding of concepts outside her realm. She is so forgiving in nature, so beautifully vulnerable, so willing to move forward and not hold any grudges. And even when she holds anger and sorrow, she somehow brings beauty to those darker feelings too with her positive aura.
This is the friend I undoubtedly spend the most time with, realistically. I have been drawn into her enigmatic presence since the moment we met. I honestly thought she was too good for me, too cool and confident. Yet it was her, who gave me permission to be myself, and not just a mother and a wife. It was her who encouraged me to have some fun, to treat myself and practice self care. It was her who welcomed me in with her extended family and proudly introduced me much more grandly than I felt worthy of.
As I touched on earlier, this friend has had more than her fair share of setbacks and heartbreaks. She often fears that I dread spending time with her, or feel emotionally exhausted from the endless drama in her life. And yet, this is rarely the case. Rather than drained, I often still somehow feel energized from our time together, because she makes such effort to connect, and to maintain that connection. Her dramas remind me how lucky I am, both in life and to call her a friend. She’s positive, but not toxically so. She is able to hold space for the darker side of life, without getting too bogged down in it all. She will still smile at the waiter and praise them to the boss for outstanding service. She’ll still make a chicken joke given the opportunity!
I am not so naturally light and positive. I like to think of myself as a realist, but, realistically, I am probably a pessimist, which makes her shining her bright light of positivity on everything so balancing and refreshing and hopeful to me.
This post is to thank her for being the bright pop of colour on my canvas, for shining her light in the dark, and always making sure she holds both my hand and my heart tenderly. For being an advocate, for celebrating my successes, no matter how small, and accepting me just the way I am, although I am not as bright and cheery. For reminding me to see the bright side of life, frolic in the fun, and that I am worth spoiling, and worthy of her loyal, reliable, constant and consistent connection.
I don’t say it as often, or as freely as she does, but she is definitely a very valuable bright star that lights up my sky and helps me shine brighter. If you are reading this, you are one of my favourite colours. Never forget it. Never dull your shine for anyone or anything! If positivity was a superpower, you’d be my superhero! Happy GALentines Day! Love us!
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
