PRO: You learn about other places and cultures
During this COVID-19 Pandemic, it has been especially interesting to hear from my friend in America and how things are affected over there. Before all this she has sent me care packages with all their favourite yummy treats! Drools! She also helped me purchase something online you needed a USA address for. So many pro’s of her living on the other side of the world!
CON: You miss giving them a hug when one of you needs it.
My friend and I share so much. We are always engaged in an endless conversation about our lives, and sometimes it is easier to share our struggles with each other, because of the distance. However I can’t tell you how many times we have said we wished we were closer in distance so we could give each other a big comforting hug when either of us needs one!
PRO: You don’t have to get dressed up to see them.
My friend and I keep in touch mostly by written means, emails, texts and instant messages. It gives us the chance to catch each other up in our own time and really consider what we want to say. There is never a time limit, I don’t have to rush to be on time, dress up and spend money to catch up with her. Because of the time differences I am usually in bed in my pyjamas when we message. A whole new meaning to the term “pillow talk!”
CON: Time differences are a bitch and you might miss some of the special events you’d love to get dressed up for.
Of course the time differences mean if I am having a lunch time dilemma, it is midnight there and my friend is unlikely to even be aware of my message until hours later. Plus she would be totally worth getting dressed up for. I’d love to celebrate her birthday or go to her wedding vow renewal…..
PRO: Great excuse to travel!
I guess some of these big life events, births, deaths, weddings and funerals are great excuses to go and travel. I’d love nothing more than to surprise her with my presence one of these days, and I will one day, but America is quite the trek from Australia.
CON: Travel is expensive and you only have so many holidays a year, which means you might not see them as often as you’d like.
Not only is it a long plane ride from Australia to America, it’s very expensive. So while I do plan to visit America one of these days, it might be a once in a lifetime trip. As much as we sometimes wish we were neighbours, my presence in her life will always be from a distance. But at least when I am there it will be extra special and meaningful.
PRO: You have to be conscious of making time to keep in touch!
My American friend reminds me that friendships don’t just happen. We get busy, and because we aren’t in one another’s immediate social circle, we have to remember about our friendship and make the extra effort to write to each other and keep in touch. It is so rewarding that it makes me reflect on how strong our friendships are when we consciously put in effort even when things get busy.
CON: It can feel as if you’re on the sidelines watching their life instead of participating!
Sometimes it can be hard though, that because of the distance we can’t really be there for each other in the ways that local friends can be. Although we are always reporting back to each other regularly, sometimes it feels like you know all their people so well that you wish you were right there with them all. It’s hard to make memories with someone you never see. But at least we can share and preserve memories with each other!
PRO: Love know no bounds!
I love my long distance friends, and I’m so glad to have them. Our conversations bring us closer and foster just as much intimacy as some of my local ones. As much as I value my face to face time with friends, with enough effort and consistency, sometimes I forget these friends aren’t really there, because it feels like they are! You’ll notice there are more pro’s than con’s on this list, because a healthy friendship is always a pro despite it’s limitations!
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
