Ok, so this being the month of love, we have talked about the friendzone. But what if you are one of the lucky people out there who confessed their love to their best friend and actually had your dreams come true when they said they actually did feel the same way? What now? How do you transition into something more?
You’d always dreamed it would be amazing and effortless and you’d just fall into one another’s arms and melt time away with magical kisses and romantic dates right? And yet, in reality, acting differently toward your friend can actually feel really bloody awkward! For a start you are probably excited and want to tell your bestie…. Except they already know. So who will you talk to now?
Step one, find a new friendship to level up, as you need someone to talk to and vent to. The idea that you will never need more or never fall out with your perfect person is about to evaporate, and you may start seeing benefits of being just friends that you could not see when you were busy hoping for more. Not that I am saying your relationship is doomed to fail, but I wouldn’t go putting all your friendship and relationship eggs all in that same one basket.
This adjustment, as you both turn and share with other people, may be the first hurdle to jump as you transition into a relationship and it is normal to miss feeling like you were always the person they confided in and turned to. But it is also normal and healthy to nurture other connections and grow a new level of trust that wasn’t necessary before.
The next thing is to take your new boo out on a date! You have probably been out a million times before, but yet this time it might feel really strange and a bit awkward. Can you hold their hand? Should you? Yes, you should, because it is all too easy for the relationship to stall if you coast on easy street and rest on your withstanding friendship to carry you through. If you don’t act differently, you wont feel differently and you will just kind of stay stuck calling it a relationship but not actually behaving as though it is one. So bring flowers, dress nice and confidently initiate physical touch and flirtation.
It is normal to feel a little embarrassed about flirting in this manner, even if you have always been flirtatious. There is a difference between banter for a laugh and actual flirting that leads to more! But do it anyway, that little rush of embarrassment is just because you care. Your friend liked you based on who you are as a friend, so those nerves come from feeling unsure if they will still like you in this new light! Remember you don’t know if you will like them either, so just see what happens!
The last thing to remember is to have fun! If there are things you always did, then still do those things. If you always watched horror movies on Friday nights, then do that. You don’t have to replace old patterns with new ones, you just have to grow them to include more romance and intimacy. If you suddenly always have heavy discussions about the relationship, then it might start to feel too heavy and not enjoyable like it used to be and that fun is what created the spark in the first place!
I can’t promise it will all work out to happily ever after, but at least you know you can always transition back to being just friends again if the romance fizzles…. Or can you? Stay tuned next week to find out!
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
